An Elephant Never Regrets

There was an elemental confusion
Setting in upon the population.
A cat was stalking a chicken mascot
Crouching low along the Astroturf.
I was surfing the medical supply van
Dragging an inflatable raft by its rope.
There was nothing to strive for
That didn’t eventually topple down:
What I mean here is that I was used
Not going very far – and everyone
Was the same way. We could all
Get together at some caboose bar
And joke about it – but it was still
Serious enough to make nights
Spin madly like a child spinning
Something very quickly with a pull tab.
I said to my elephant,
You seem the kind of animal
To take notice. He trumpeted in a way
That caused me to doubt everything,
And I began to wonder if he has been leading
Me on this entire time, and I ran
Through all of my memories
To try to evaluate them, although
I couldn’t remember much past
Being born. I concluded that an elephant
Is not a proper companion, so I set
About alienating him with snippy
Little skips, which he couldn’t mimic.
And I called him a puissant pissant
With a pocket trumpet squelch and
Recommended the book Trumpet Secrets
So that he keep his damn mouth shut
All the time. He began to buzz off,
And that was that, and this is this.
There were so many solids in suspension
That we couldn’t get a decent table
To save ourselves from drowning,
Which we were. No matter, said
The waiter, who set our drinks on
Our thrashing limbs, and there was
Too much salt in the water or something
Because nothing seemed to taste right.
The population, which had all taken
A number before us, was reeling
In reciprocal grooming habits:
More impressive than hair being washed
In the lobby was the debate
Over the ceiling tiles, which half the restaurant
Claimed was actually flooring stuck
Up there by mistake. Of course,
The rest of us, standing on the ceiling,
Called everyone ludicrous and went on
Tapping our feet to express our impatience,
Sending little stars that children drew
Falling on the heads of the nonbelievers.